I need help removing her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
