i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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