I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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