I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
