HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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