You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize