Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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