is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize