I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
