they need to just BURY HIM!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
