Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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