she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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