and she was petting her beer can
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
