I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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