I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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