ugly people sure do ruin things
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
