What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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