He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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