Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
