So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
