He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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