but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
