im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
