My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
