If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
