coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
