we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize