did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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