What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
