3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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