you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Naked Twister starts at high noon
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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