Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Acid is not a monday night drug
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
