Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
