U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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