My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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