so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize