STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
