I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
