And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
