He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
