having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
