Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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