I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
