respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize