I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
