did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
