So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
