my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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