over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
