I think im going to throw up on grandma
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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