I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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