Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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