I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
