so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
