better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He felt like a one man threesome
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
