found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
