Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
