You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
