Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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