Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
