She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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