Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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