break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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