Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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