You're completely useless in the revolution.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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