Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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