Soap is not a condiment
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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