In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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