She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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