at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize