I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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