What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
