My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
